Stories

'Will'

My story comes about because I got to the end of myself. When I first went to University I was on top of the world. I had driven out of my parent's driveway with my Datsun 180B loaded up with all my worldly possessions and a beautiful girl. About one month later I drove that same Datsun 180B to a park in the middle of the night and sat on a picnic table and cried until I sobbed. Within one month I had lost my girlfriend, my place to live, and my dignity. I had no friends within 300km. I was a carefree 17 year old kid had taken his first 'big man steps' and had crashed and burned.

Looking back, its no surprise. At that time I was completely self-absorbed. I had been reasonably popular and it had gone to my head. In year twelve I used to walk around during the lunch-break so that as many people as possible could get to know me. And when I got my first real girlfriend it seemed only right: Of course she loved me! What's not to love?

But now I was sitting on this picnic table screaming into the wind, 'God, what have you done to me?!'

It's funny that I blamed God. I knew God and had gone to church and read the Bible. But the most important person in my life was me. As far as God went, I had given Jesus the flick. I had confidence in me - my popularity, my personal charm, my dreams and plans for myself. But I wasn't even big enough to get through this mess.

Why should Jesus care about me? I hadn't cared about him. I hadn't cared about anyone except myself. But he didn't walk away. Instead he picked me up, turned me around, and helped me along.

There's a verse in the Bible that has God talking to people who have failed. He says to them, 'I have loved you with an everlasting love. I will build you up again!' I realised that day that even though I didn't deserve to be loved, or to be built into something worthwhile, God was going to do it anyway.

Within a few weeks I was on the mend. Nobody knew what was wrong with me but I met absolute strangers who could somehow tolerate an obnoxious young man and be friends. Others would come up to me and encourage me and tell me that they thought I was going to go places. It wasn't just one person who was doing it - it was lots of different people helping me in their own way. There was no way I could have made it happen, and there is no one single person I could thank. I know that it was God sorting me out.

For some reason this God, this Jesus that I had ignored did not leave me muddling in my puddle. He got me through one of the toughest years of my life. Because of that I know that he is alive and well. And I know that when the chips are down the only thing to do is stop being full of my own self-confidence, and rely on him instead.

Anglican Church in Tasmania

Stories

'Will'