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a healthy church...transformingLIFE

Tasmanian Anglican

May 2004

 

Editor's angle

by Sheelagh Wegman

 

 

Psst! Wanna buy a mobile phone?

The following exchange between Trendy-Enthusiastic-Lad and Sensible-Parent-of-Kid took place at 14:31:08 hrs last Tuesday. Any resemblance to real life is entirely intentional.

TEL: Hi! Howadoin'? So you wanna buya phone?

SPOK: Yeah! Cool! Ahem…I mean, yes I'm just checking options. What do you have?

TEL: Well that depends.

SPOK: Depends?

TEL: On what you want.

SPOK: Well I want something basic, easy to use, not too expensive, cheap call rates and no complicated contract.

TEL: No worries. You need a PLAN. This antiqued silver one with relaxed platinum buttons is our most popular phone. Very hip. The call rate is cool-100 calls a month costs less than 100 text messages a week and you get twenty latte vouchers for the JavaJive coffee shop in Brazil.

SPOK: So what's it cost?

TEL: Well, it depends-how much you use it, what PLAN you're on.

SPOK: Can't I just buy the phone and pay as I go?

TEL: Well, yeah. But it might be better to get this wicked blue one with the latest ZING and bonus features. A PLAN's the way to go.

SPOK: Better? Bonus features?

TEL: Pay monthly and get really cheap calls to Ouagadougou on Thursdays, but pay weekly and you can phone Murmansk every day for eight minutes and 20 seconds. For this week only you can have this indigo phone with camera hidden near the mouth piece-email a photo to your dentist for a quote-Ha! Ha! joke.

SPOK: (Groan) What's a local call cost?

TEL: Depends what PLAN. Local calls are free on Tuesdays and half price on Saturdays. There's no charge if calls are made from a bus. And if you use spellchecker for texting you get a bonus DVD. This month there's a discount for people with green hair who wear taupe sandals. Whoa, nearly forgot! There's this far-out micro one. Compatible with ZAP and SNOZZ-call anywhere in the world on Mondays between midnight and 1.03 am. That's with the usual backtofront payment option. Go for the 100 for 100 WHAM rate and send 725 text messages per day, for FREE. Now, which PLAN do you go for?

SPOK: Hhhmmmm…what about the free set of steak knives?

TEL: Yeah, whatever. Get back to me.

Thank God for His PLAN - always on offer, clear, simple, long-distance or local, no timed calls, no hidden costs, no fine print, and absolutely FREE!