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a healthy church...transformingLIFE

Tasmanian Anglican

July 2003

 

Children do not forget

 

 

Interview

Professor Freda Briggs, based at the University of South Australia, Magill Campus, is recognised internationally for her expertise in child protection. She has published 14 books and co-authored the Report of the Inquiry into the Handling of Child Sex Abuse Cases in the Diocese of Brisbane. She has done research with child victims, their families and convicted offenders, has been consultant and researcher to NZ police since 1985, and lectures to all professions working with children. Her many awards include Senior Australian of the Year (2000) and the inaugural Australian Humanitarian Awards (1998)

Freda Briggs is currently Visiting Fellow at the University of Tasmania &endash; Jane Franklin Hall. She recently spoke with Sheelagh Wegman on issues surrounding the sexual abuse of young people.

SW Some people say they have little sympathy for victims who report offences that took place long ago. 'Why can't they put it behind them and forget about it?'

FB Few adults who have not experienced abuse understand the psychological damage that child sexual abuse can cause. Many think, wrongly, that 'If we don't talk about it, s/he will forget about it' and the problem will go away.'

Children do not forget traumatic and confusing incidents. If they are not supported and the abuse continues, they are likely to feel helpless, hopeless and worthless, and adopt a victim stance to life in general. If abuse is ignored, victims may store memories which return in adolescence or even later in life.

The most damaging aspect of child abuse is the psychological aspect. It can leave victims with very low self esteem, and can have long lasting effects on sexuality and the ability to maintain long term relationships. Self-destructive behaviour is common. Alcohol and drugs are often used to blur the memories and depression may lead to suicidal behaviour. Some child victims become promiscuous or engage in prostitution: they are convinced that this is all that they are 'fit for'.

SW Why do they take so long to report these events?

FB Some of the reasons why male victims often do not report these things until adulthood include embarrassment, the peer group taboo on homosexuality, and the fear of being labelled. These ensure that young male victims cannot report sex offences until they are sufficiently mature and confident to do so. This usually happens when they are adults and another victim has broken the silence.

Offenders often carefully plan their targetting strategy. They may give longed-for physical tenderness, or flatter their chosen target by giving them access to the secret sexuality of male adults: sharing alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, pornography. This latter ensures the offender's own safety: boys dare not disclose forbidden activities to parents. Girls can also be victims.

SW Are all victims affected equally?

FB Some are affected more seriously than others. The effects are not related to the type of abuse, but rather to psychological factors. Psychological damage tends to be the greatest when the victim had a trusting relationship with the perpetrator; secrecy was involved; the offender manipulated the victim into blaming themselves; the victim enjoyed some aspect of the behaviour or the relationship (leading to further guilt and self blame); when emotions were sexualised ( i.e. the young person was taught that sex was love;) and when hints given to parents or responsible adults were ignored or dismissed.

Effects such as these can be illustrated by what happened to a large number of school boys who were abused by an Australian school counsellor. They became anxious and lost their capacity to concentrate and engaged in anti-social and angry behaviours. They often withdrew and became depressed. Their school performance declined and, faced with negative reports and parental criticism, most dropped out of school before Year 12. Unable to find satisfying employment they went from job to job, often with long periods of unemployment.

SW Some people say 'I just can't tie in these allegations with the popular leader I remember. How could someone who did so much good, at the same time be doing such damage to innocent lives?'

FB People are not one dimensional. We are all a mixture of skills and talents, of strengths and weaknesses - a mixture of things that help others and things that harm. Those who abuse children may, in fact, make rich contributions to society in other fields, BUT child sex abuse is not like other crimes. It does such long-lasting damage. It is compulsive, habitual behaviour, and involves the abuse of power and control. Child sex abusers are the most manipulative of all criminals. This is why, to protect children from these crimes, it is never appropriate to reinstate an offender to a position from which others might be abused.

Offenders justify their behaviour by telling themselves (and other offenders) that boys like or want what they do... that they deserve it…that it isn't wrong or damaging. The fact that boy victims return and don't report them is viewed as complicity, conveniently forgetting the methods used to control them and retain secrecy. Some convince victims that what they are really doing is helping these youngsters enjoy their God-given sexuality. Often it is learned behaviour: i.e. the offender was himself abused in childhood and repeated the strategies and behaviours experienced then.

SW What help can be offered to those who say 'I admired and trusted this person. How could I have been so wrong? I have lost confidence in my own judgment of people. I feel so guilty that I didn't see that this was happening.'

FB Child sex abuse produces many secondary victims: the child's family and all those who worked with and trusted the offender. They are likely to feel that they too were abused, albeit differently. Doubting your own judgment makes you feel very insecure.

Parishioners and ministry colleagues will also feel betrayed. Perhaps you can now understand why 'learning to trust again' is such a struggle for victims, and why this betrayal of trust makes it much harder for them to trust others or God.

Let me encourage any readers who feel like this, not to give up on God, yourselves or your church, but to acknowledge this deep wound to your capacity to trust, and tackle the healing journey openly with others. Let me urge you to be understanding of those who are at different stages of coming to terms with this, or integrating it into their life/faith journeys.

SW How can the average parishioner help victims? Is this only a job for experts?

FB Those who have been abused should be in control of who knows their story. If someone has shared their story with you, you must be discreet. If the victim is a minor, it must be reported to police. If the victim is an adult who was abused in childhood, it is wise to offer to assist them to phone the help line 1800 017 286. They can do this without revealing their name, and can talk about their options with someone who will understand, and who can offer to provide expert assistance.

Those who have been abused usually do need expert help, but they also desperately need the ongoing care, love and long-term support of the ordinary people they have trusted with their story.

For more information see Briggs (2000) Teaching children to protect themselves published by Allen and Unwin, and Briggs and Hawkins (1997) Child Protection: A guide for teachers and child care professionals published by Allen & Unwin.